I Can’t Be 55!

Yesterday was my birthday.  I was a first born child and a Christmas baby.  My mother always made sure my birthday was recognized on one of the largest gift giving days of the year.  I had Christmas presents and birthday presents under our tree, and I had a birthday cake after Christmas dinner. 

The first thing that went through my sleepy mind after I opened my eyes yesterday was “I can’t be 55”.  Yesterday was a day I had been both dreading and looking forward to.  How can you dread Christmas Day?  Turning 55 on the same day, some weird emotions happening inside. 

I can’t be 55 because  ~ I still feel like that little girl, playing outside with her friends.

I can’t be 55 because  ~ I still feel like that teen girl dreaming of how my life will be when I grow up.

I can’t be 55 because ~ I still feel like that young woman who just graduated high school and is out on her own for the first time.

I can’t be 55 because ~ I still feel like that young mother, holding my babies and singing them songs as I rock them to sleep.

But I think of the things I have seen in my lifetime…….and I must be 55.  I have witnessed and/or experienced so many events ~ segregation…integration…the assassinations of President Kennedy, his brother Robert, Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr…the creation of the Berlin Wall…the German citizens tearing down the Berlin Wall…man walking on the moon…Flower Power…Go Go Boots…Summer of Love 1969…Hippies (of which I was a proud member 🙂  )…Cuban Missile Crisis…President Nixon and the Watergate Scandal…the Iran hostage crisis…Vietnam War…the unraveling of the U.S.S.R into separate republics…Gulf War…war in Afghanistan and Iraq…the invasion of Kuwait…September 11th, 2001…Beatle-mania…rock and roll…Disco…punk rock…rap music…creation of personal computers…color television…cable television…the Internet…to name a few.  🙂

Along with all those important events, I have also personally experienced some important events of my own….the deaths of loved ones…the divorce of my parents and my own divorce… and the births of my two daughters.

I can’t be 55 because my mind tells me it isn’t so.  I’m still a young and carefree woman of 18…21…30…35…40…45!!  But dates (and mirrors) don’t lie, and I am 55.  I have witnessed some amazing things in my lifetime.  There are good things with being this age too……I can get discounts all over now!  🙂  And there is something to be said about the wisdom you gain over the years.  There is a lot more I don’t put up with, there is a lot more I don’t worry about and there is a lot more understanding in my heart.  But with the good, there comes the bad……I don’t have my whole life in front of me any longer.  I’m not dead yet, but I do realize there are limitations as to what I can do.  I sometimes envy the younger women of today……you have so many opportunities to shine!  And don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t!  If I could offer a little advice to all young women it would be deep, calming breaths do wonders in moments of crisis and unrest…..relax and enjoy your life.  Don’t sweat the small stuff ~ or as my mother once said to me ~ “don’t let the elephants stomp you to death while you are worrying about the ants”.  🙂